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Sunday, October 28, 2018

Wife Draws “Stick Nipples” to explain why she wakes up cranky. No really. (7 Photos)

Mattea and Kris Goff are the proud parents of two beautiful girls, Seleste, 5, and Aurora, 5 months old. After two kids, this whole baby rearing thing should be nothing new to the couple. Kris, however, couldn’t figure out why his wife was always so tired and cranky in the morning. You know, other than the whole screaming baby thing… So, Mattea decided to take advantage of her amateur artistic abilities to illustrate exactly what her nights are like and thus, why she’s not a morning person.
Mattea’s drawings represent a renaissance of motherly artistry. Her lactating likenesses paint a poignant picture of the sleeping habits of the new mother.
Meanwhile, Kris’ defiant slumber and “useless nipples” assuage us with his patriarchal hibernation.
The contrast of the heavy, dark lines against the stark white of the paper scream, “Where is my breast pump” while the perfectly manicured beard leaves us wondering, who is Kris’ barber?

Here, we see the bear awaken from his snooze with lulling comforts contrasted against the defeated mother, mourning the death of her tits.
All joking aside, this is pretty funny and awesome and probably the best way to avoid any confrontation.

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